My Anxiety Is High, What Can I Do?
My anxiety is so high right now, what can I do? I have received this question multiple times over the past couple of months. There are two answers to that question: the practical strategy to quiet anxiety and why those strategies are so hard.
Anxiety is avoidance.
Avoidance of something distressing, whether that be a snake in the woods, a social interaction, or a global pandemic. This avoidance causes our perspective to narrow, and we can get stuck in loops of anxiety. When we can slow down our brains and kindly acknowledge our experience, we can widen our perspective and develop strategies to ease the anxiety.
Whether practicing A.S.K., journaling, meditation, mindfulness exercises, or yoga, these practices allow us to get quiet, acknowledge the anxiety, be kind about it and find new ways of moving forward.
Now here is why those strategies are so hard.
It isn’t magic. We don’t do a 5 minute meditation, and then poof, our anxiety is banished for the day! On days when our anxiety is high, we might need to practice that process many times.
If we were raised to ‘think positive or be grateful’ or constantly told what we SHOULD feel or that others’ feelings were more important, the strategy above is like speaking Mandarin. It is hard, if not downright impossible.
I can remember feeling anxious, trying to meditate, and being met with walls and walls of resistance, which would cause me to spin out even more because now I have anxiety, and the strategy to help my anxiety isn’t working!!!
It is way more than just knowing the strategy to solve your anxiety.
It is about:
building a relationship with yourself,
unhooking the Monger who tells you your experience is ridiculous or crazy.
realizing that being kind to yourself won’t hurt your productivity or make you weak.
In fact, being kind to yourself is the most important thing.
This is why the idea of self-loyalty is essential. IT WAS A GAME-CHANGER when I finally prioritized my experience and feelings over what I thought I SHOULD be feeling or what THEY felt.
That process doesn’t happen overnight, but here are some strategies to start exploring that process.
Remind yourself that the why doesn’t matter—I spent so much time analyzing why I was anxious, and most of the time, it was never a good enough reason. Remind yourself that what you are feeling is Ok.
Throughout the day, pause and check-in with yourself—how are you feeling right now? Just naming the feelings allows you to start building awareness of your experience and building self loyalty.
Notice how often you minimize your feelings of anxiety by telling yourself to be grateful, think positive, or so-and-so has it worse. Put your hands over your heart and say to yourself, “Yes, I have a lot to be grateful for, AND at this moment, I am sad, angry, exhausted, and that is ok. Having those emotions isn’t evil, selfish, or bad. They are just emotions.” (Or some non-therapisty sounding way of saying that HA!!)
Finally—we have been in the upside-down world of the pandemic for a very long time, and just when we think we have adjusted, another change comes along, so the fact that anxiety is high right now is understandable. The goal of my one-on-one program: Coach in Your Pocket is helping people with anxiety build self-loyalty with themselves so they can quiet their anxiety and we can work together no matter where you live.
Please reach out to me or to a professional you trust who can help you.