Blog & Podcast

What are your barriers?

The Persian Mystic, Rumi has many many wonderful quotes–one of my favorites is:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”–Rumi
Rumi is talking about love but in reality, you can replace the word love with anything you are seeking: success, peace, money, joy, freedom, commitment, etc.  Every now and then I come across a quote that just allows me to take a deep breath and say, “yes”.  This is one of those quotes.
I tend to be a doer a goal setter, list keeper type-A personality type of girl.  This quote reminds me that frequently we are getting in our own way.  Sometimes the reason we aren’t achieving or getting something we desire isn’t because we aren’t working hard enough, it is because we aren’t open to it.  It is the difference between doing vs. being.  I admit it sounds a little ‘woo-woo’ and I am a practical gal.  But here’s the thing, I am not necessarily talking about energy blocks, I am talking about limiting beliefs, unresolved hurts and issues.  We all have blocks and barriers to stuff.  Even the things we want most in life we have protections built up around them.
Take love for example:  many of my clients are looking for love an intimate partner to share their life.   Frequently, I have found with some of my clients because they want love so much they are on a high mission to find it, ‘seeking it ‘ like crazy.  Often times because of this seeking they enter into unhealthy relationships that end poorly. However, when the look deep enough they see they are picking less then compatible partners so they don’t have to be truly vulnerable or really commit.  If someone isn’t compatible then they don’t have to deal with their lack of self esteem.    To Rumi’s point, if they stopped seeking outside themselves and worked on the barriers they have put forth to finding love e.g. commitment issues, vulnerability issues, self esteem issues they might have a better success finding true love.
Another example I find frequently in my clients is career fulfillment/success.  Many of my clients want to find a career they love. They might be working hard to find that, taking many assessments, seeing a career counselor, and applying for jobs they like.  They are doing a lot of foot work.  In reality there are a lot of barriers within them around the career eg. self esteem issues, lack of support of family/friends, negative self talk, etc.  These barriers keep them from truly getting in touch with their success and their passion. They are spending a lot of time doing the work of looking for a job but not paying attention to the limiting belief barriers that are getting in their way.

This week I have had a lot of small victories in my business:  new clients, new opportunities, accolades and positive feedback.  Yesterday, as I was writing my goals for the coming weeks,  I glanced down at my desk and saw the quote.  I had written it down a few weeks ago to use in a blog post and I thought, ‘ah, relax girl’.  I have worked hard to get the victories of this week but rather than enjoy them I just felt more pressure to add to my to-do list.  I know for me, when I tend to feel the need to run harder and faster, there is a barrier there that I need to work on.
 One of the reasons the Rumi quote speaks to me is that I tend to just keep adding things to my list, setting new goals, trying new things.   So this quote is a wonderful reminder to me to relax, take a deep breath and realize that sometimes you are getting in your own way. My job isn’t to get stuck in the doing it is to take care of myself and make sure I am as open and barrier-free as possible.

What are you seeking for and what are the barriers you have around it?  Where do you see barriers getting in your way?