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Two simple words: Be kind

When the quarantine initially came down, my clients said things like:

I am fine!”
“I was built for this. I THRIVE in a crisis.”
“I got this!”

They were busy building plans, making schedules, doing “all the things.”

This is pretty understandable for those of us with HFA—step in, handle the crisis, make a plan, and channel all of our anxiety into doing. 

And then as the week progressed and we hit days three and four, the doing became harder to sustain. Monger’s started chiming in about “wasting time” and “not doing enough.”

The reality started hitting. The cancellations, the challenges of living in one space, the realization that this is going to be awhile. 

So I have one reminder I will be saying over and over: Be kind.

Talking with my clients, I know that our Mongers are out in full force. When the quarantine hit, many of my clients were fine because we thrive in high-stress situations. But as the days have gone on and newness of this experience goes away, our Mongers will come out tenfold. Be kind to yourself.

When you notice your Monger, acknowledge your feelings. The sadness, the fear, the uncertainty, the feeling of being out-of-control.

Get into your body, feel your feet on the floor, do a dance, stretch up.

And kindly see the big picture. All the feels are normal, wanting to power through this is normal, and this is going to be a long game. Our short-term hustle strategies aren’t going to cut it. So be kind and ask yourself what you can add into your day that is non-productive: reading, watching movies, doing something creative, etc. 

Be kind to others. I know this can be hard as we are stuck in our homes with our families. It is easy to fly off the handle and take our frustration out on those we love. I know from talking to clients that 10 reactions to two situations are happening all over the place! So remember it is okay to take a break, go for a walk, take a nap, or just ask for a time-out period.

For some people, all the cracks in their relationships are coming to the forefront. I think of all the children and adults who are in relationships that are abusive or unhealthy. If you need support, please reach out, text, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.


New on The Happier Approach podcast

If you are anything like me, you’re probably a swirl of emotions right now. And you may be having feelings you think you shouldn’t be having and are judging yourself for it.

But here is the thing: feelings happen. It doesn’t matter if the feelings make sense or not. You are still having them and that is more than okay—no matter what your Monger is telling you.

We are continuing this month’s deep dive into the F word and this week on the podcast, we are exploring what to do when your feelings just don’t seem appropriate and what happens when we don’t give ourselves permission to feel. Check it out on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or over here.