The Moments of Living Happier

The Moments of Living Happier

Photo credit: Lotte Meijer

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be happier? We all want to be happier, I named my business after it. And the one thing people always comment on is that they want to be happier.

But what does it mean to be happier?

  • To wake up each morning feeling light and joyful.
  • To make decisions easily and without self-doubt.
  • To know the way forward without hesitation.
  • To be grateful and see the joy and passion in each and every day
  • To be free of negativity and insecurity.
Sound good huh? Sounds ideal. YES!  And yet, it is impossible. We hold ourselves to these IMPOSSIBLE standards.  What if being happier meant?
  • To wake up and realize that some moments we are filled with joy and light and some moments are filled with doubt and pain and truly living is flowing through all those experiences.
  • To recognize that certainty doesn’t equal happiness. And to take it one step further, that maybe happiness comes through the experiments of life and the joy of taking a risk and putting ourselves out there in small little ways, even if we fail.
  • To know that our worth isn’t based on whether we are feeling happy or sad. You are not a ‘better person’ if you feel joyful all the time.

We think happiness or being happier is something we can accomplish something we can attain if only we KNEW what to do next.  But there is no roadmap. There is no certainty. There is the next step. There is looking at your values, and making decisions based on where they lead you.

Insecurity, doubt, fear that is all part of the package. Maybe if we stopped thinking we were less than because insecurity, doubt and fear keep showing up. Maybe if we stopped railing against those things and embraced that insecurity, doubt and fear are all a part of life. And with those things also come joy, peace, and happiness.

We are taught that the dark night of the soul leads to redemption and peace and the story ends there. As if once we crawl through the desert we will be rewarded with an oasis of pure joy and peace. But that isn’t how it works. It isn’t always one LONG dark night of the soul followed by one LONG oasis.

  • It is a gut-wrenching moment of fear about your mother’s health and how you are going to handle it followed by a hug from your spouse and the realization you aren’t alone.
  • It is a heart-stinging moment of sadness about your son growing up and needing you less followed by a feeling of peace when you see him interact with his friends and realize that he is such an amazing man.
  • It is an ‘oh-crap’ moment of insecurity when your boss gives you a new assignment followed by a shared joke with a co-worker, laughing so hard you think you might injure yourself.

Life is made up of those moments. Not one BIG LONG moment of joy but thousands of little moments of joy mixed up with the sadness, insecurity, and fear. I believe that is living happier being aware and open to all of those moments the messy, side-splitting laughter, ugly crying, on your knees, full heart, gut-wrenching moments.