Tomorrow I am leaving for a trip to South Africa! 19 days in Cape Town. I am headed there with a group of students from a local university. I am one of the chaperones. Talk about the chance to break out of the routine–to practice intentional living! Wow! I have a lot of fears about this trip–will I be able to bond with the students? Will we be safe? Will I lose my mind on the 21-hour flight? Will I survive 19 days without contact with my friends and family back home? And yet I have a lot of excitement–what will it be like to live in a country different from mine? How will it feel to stretch myself WAY out of my comfort zone? What amazing people will I meet? How many wild animals will I get to see in their natural habitat?
I have found I am filled with mixed emotions–excitement and fear, dread and joy, certainty and insecurity, anxiety and confidence! All are bubbling up and trying to come out, and I am allowing them too. All the different emotions to come up and out and be apart of my experience. In the past, I would have tried to hide my fears or keep my joy unexpressed. However, I have learned life is messy–life is gray and mixed up. It isn’t clear and direct and learning how to express that uncertainty is a gift we can give ourselves. So I am trying to be intentional about my experience and my emotions. To let bubble up whatever bubbles up and live this trip to the fullest! Next time I write, I will have returned from my trip and will have many more adventures to share!! Peace.
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