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Putting on Your Big Girl Pants

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves in a spot where we realize we need to put on our big girl pants we need to step up, take action, make a change. I had a client who came into see me because she was at a crossroads in both her relationship and her career. During our sessions, it became apparent that over the past few years she had been floating through life–allowing her partner to take care of her, allowing her job just to exist, she wasn’t actively engaged in her life.

Unfortunately, I frequently find that in my practice–women who have given up on their lives either out of fear, numbness or have just been beaten down enough that they have lost their energy to engage. Over our sessions she began to get more and more empowered, figuring out what she needed/desired, what direction she wanted her life to take. Finally it became obvious that she need to make some changes in her life–needed to start implementing her desires and needs. After much discussion about what she wanted to do and how to do it she turned to me and said “You know what I just need to put on my big girl pants and get out there”. I loved that expression! She was right–we used that analogy a lot in her sessions and I continue to use it with my clients. I absolutely love the power of analogy. Frequently in my sessions, I will use a symbol or a story to help illustrate a challenging topic, and this was the perfect analogy!

At first, her big girl pants were uncomfortable and didn’t fit right and then eventually she got used to them. She got used to asking for what she needed and living her life intentionally based on her expectations, not someone else’s. So over the next few weeks, she kept trying on her big girl pants, and you could see the energy in her change. Each week she would come into my office and would share a story of when she had her big girl pants on and what she had done. And we would talk about the difference between the times she was wearing her big girl pants and the times she wasn’t. Eventually she began to feel that difference of when she was acting from her big girl place and when she was acting from her little girl place She could tell the insecure, scared part of her–her little girl– “you know what I got this–I can take care of you, I can speak my needs and be a grown up.”

Finally, at one of our last sessions, she said to me “you know I came in wearing my little girl dress and now I am wearing big girl pants.” So true! She made some significant life changes during out time together and came out living a life that she wanted, and that fed her soul. She was living happier!!!

Even in myself, I notice when I start acting anxious, insecure, doubtful, scared that I have put on my little girl dress and I remind myself I am a big girl. I give my little girl (my insecurities and doubts) and a quick hug, put on my big girl pants and say “I got this”.

Where in your life are you still wearing your little girl clothes?

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