Episode 118: The Joy of Missing Out With Tonya Dalton

Episode 118: The Joy of Missing Out With Tonya Dalton

I have often fallen for the trap of thinking that a new system–a new calendar, a new journal, a new app–was all that I needed to keep me organized and bring order to the chaos. 

But all around me are piles of half-filled calendars, abandoned bullet journals, and long lost apps–the evidence of well-meaning systems that I started only to later abandon.

I know that it isn’t a flaw in the systems that’s the problem. It’s my own lack of commitment to these systems that is the problem. I know this truth, and yet I still struggle to live in that place. It is so much easier to just blame the freaking system.

In January we are inundated with the new year, new you message. It is a time when starting a new system for change is particularly alluring. And all this month we have been taking a different look at how change works. 

We’ve covered: setting New Year’s resolutions without succumbing to the hype, working through our challenges so that we can live a life that is true to our values, what Mr. Rogers can teach us about slowing down and being present, and how the concept of Spialling Up can be applied to a life long of growth and change. 

I thought it would be nice to end the month on a conversation with Tonya.

Tonya Dalton is a productivity expert, author, speaker, and founder of inkWELL Press Productivity Co, a company centered around productivity tools and training. 

So, of course, when I started reading her book, The Joy of Missing Out, I was hopeful that Tonya could fix me with a shiny new system for finding joy in doing less. I soon realized that wasn’t the case. 

Instead, Tanya gets it. She understands the struggle. She isn’t about some “all you have to do is follow my system and you will be cured” way of thinking. 

As you know, like most of my clients, my BS meter is pretty, and when I was reading Tonya’s book, it was like Tonya was reading my mind. Every objection I had, she had a way to make it approachable and doable. 

Listen in to see which ones I’ve added to my life, and at the end of the interview, I’ll share how it’s still going. 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What Tonya has to say about our love with the to-do list and how to think about it differently. 
  • Why Tonya is so passionate about productivity. 
  • What she sometimes calls ‘million-dollar minutes’ and how it will help you think about your time differently. 
  • And how to work with resistance and the process of change 


Helping people with High Functioning Anxiety is a personal mission for me. I have a special place in my heart for this struggle because it’s both something I dealt with unknowingly for years, and because it silently affects so many people who think this is just how it is. 

Working with me this way is an incredibly efficient and effective way to deal with your anxiety in the moment–without waiting for your next appointment.

I have been doing this work for over 20 years and Coach in Your Pocket is the most effective and most life-changing work I have ever done. My clients are consistently blown away by how these daily check-ins combined with the monthly face-to-face video meetings create slow, lasting changes that reprogram their High Functioning Anxiety tendencies over time.

Over the course of the three-month program, we meet once a month for a face-to-face session via a secure video chat, and then throughout the entire three months, you have access to me anytime you are feeling anxious, having a Monger attack, celebrating a win, or just need to check-in, and I will respond to you during my office hours (Monday through Friday, 9 am – 6 pm EST).

Ready to get started? Email me: nancyjane@live-happier.com and we’ll set up a free 30-minute consultation to see if this process is a good fit for you