Archive for the Category: Triggers And Tools

Posted February 14, 2021 by

Throughout my life, one of my go-to strategies for dealing with my anxiety is through people-pleasing. My Monger tells me, that if everyone around me was happy, I will feel less anxiety. As part of this belief, I convince myself that everyone else’s needs are more important because if their needs are met, they won’t […]

Posted January 24, 2021 by

Living with a Monger who has commentary on everything I do is exhausting. The more she talks unchecked, the more my high functioning anxiety runs rampant. As a result, I have learned unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep her at bay. When my Monger is critical, my first response is to engage with her, debate with […]

Posted October 4, 2020 by

As I sat down to write this note this morning, my first thought was what can I say that doesn’t sound trite? Every email I have received this week has talked about the crazy times we are living through. Change is happening at lightning speed. There is so much anxiety in the air, it is […]

Posted September 13, 2020 by

2020 has thrust us out of our comfort zones and into a world of uncertainty, fear, and doubt. And yet, people with High Functioning Anxiety continue to pressure themselves to do better, be better, and improve. When life gets out of control, we double down on hustling. We amp up our need to be in […]

Posted September 6, 2020 by

I frequently talk with clients about our desire to “hack ourselves into happiness.” We look for a secret formula. A formula that maybe we haven’t thought of or seen a prescription that we can easily follow to hack ourselves into happiness. Now, I know that a secret formula doesn’t exist, and yet, with all my […]

Posted August 21, 2020 by

As high achievers our work seems to be all gas and no breaks. Go, go, go, all the time with little to no time to breathe. If you feel like you’re stuck in a constant state of “yes” at work and feeling like you’re drowning and can’t stop, you’re also probably feeling the weight of […]

Posted August 21, 2020 by

On the surface, perfectionism doesn’t necessarily sound like a bad trait. In fact, many perfectionists are hard workers, determined, and strive to always improve. Perfectionism does have its downfalls and for people struggling with high functioning anxiety (HFA), it can seem like a whole new monster.   Perfectionism and anxiety don’t mix well and cango hand […]

Posted August 9, 2020 by

Frequently I get asked, what is the benefit of having self-loyalty.  So I decided to walk you through the lives of 2 different women: Doubting Donna, who doesn’t trust herself and allows her Monger and shoulds to take over. And Self Loyal Samantha who doesn’t always get it perfect but actively works to tune into what […]

Posted August 3, 2020 by

I have hit my wall and I hear it in my clients voices too. Their default coping mechanisms of push, push, push are fading. They can’t keep up this pace. We are all DONE. Done with COVID, done with being trapped at home with family, done with social distancing and masks, done with politics and […]

Posted July 26, 2020 by

Today I am wrapping up the three lies we tell ourselves. Lately, I have noticed with myself, and my clients there are lies we tell ourselves to keep ourselves in the unhealthy cycle of over-functioning—feel anxiety/shame—keep over functioning. We tell ourselves these lies with positive intent: get more done and avoid feeling anxious. But these […]