Archive for the Category: Meet Your Monger

Posted April 4, 2021 by

Shame is a HUGE part of High Functioning Anxiety. Practicing self-loyalty is a key to healing that shame and therefore quieting our High Functioning Anxiety. I love talking about self-loyalty because it is a process—I think of it like an onion. When you have spent your whole life being loyal to others, e.g., reading the […]

Posted March 21, 2021 by

Don’t stand out. Don’t be too vulnerable. Don’t make a mistake. Those are the three rules of the Monger (inner critic). She has others—but universally, those are her three rules. Last Sunday I broke the first two rules—I stood out, and I was vulnerable, and I wanted to share how my Monger let me know […]

Posted August 23, 2020 by

A challenge in writing weekly helpful content for an audience of High Functioning Anxiety folks is it is hard to get past what I call the “shield of the Monger and the BFF.” Here is how the shield works: You read a self-help article let’s say it is about setting boundaries and your Monger says, […]

Posted July 26, 2020 by

Today I am wrapping up the three lies we tell ourselves. Lately, I have noticed with myself, and my clients there are lies we tell ourselves to keep ourselves in the unhealthy cycle of over-functioning—feel anxiety/shame—keep over functioning. We tell ourselves these lies with positive intent: get more done and avoid feeling anxious. But these […]

Posted July 11, 2020 by

Earlier this week I decided we need a collective High Functioning Anxiety intervention 🙂 Lately, I have noticed with myself, and my clients there are lies we tell ourselves to keep ourselves in the unhealthy cycle of over-functioning—feel anxiety/shame—keep over functioning. We tell ourselves these lies with positive intent: get more done and avoid feeling […]

Posted June 28, 2020 by

“So are you going to take some time off around the Fourth of July holiday?” my husband asked recently. I stopped and paused. There were a couple of vacations planned in the spring that got canceled due to COVID and I just worked through them. My husband went on, “I mean, you haven’t really stopped […]

Posted June 14, 2020 by

Last week I wrote that listen, learn, make corrections is my new motto. I heard that somewhere on social media and absolutely loved it. Not just in relation to what is happening in our larger world with the protests and the societal realizations around systemic racism, but in my day to day life. Listen, learn, make corrections is […]

Posted June 7, 2020 by

Let me introduce myself – I am a white, upper middle class, liberal American woman. I am steeped in bias. I am fearful of doing it wrong. I am embarrassed for being so slow to step up and act. I feel ignorant, fragile, and stupid for feeling ignorant and fragile. I feel overwhelmed that the […]

Posted May 24, 2020 by

I just can’t get over what a strange time we are living in. I mean, totally strange. It is a holiday weekend for goodness sake and it doesn’t even feel like it, maybe because it has rained non-stop here for days, but mostly because there are no pools opening, no picnics planned, no graduations, no […]

Posted May 3, 2020 by

Earlier this week, a client* reached out to me via Voxer. We have been working on recognizing when her Monger was talking and then bringing in her Biggest Fan. I suggested she try one of my favorite techniques: When you notice your Monger talking, grab a piece of paper and write down everything she says. […]