When I first started counseling people, I was a fan of simple fixes and actionable strategies, which totally fits the profile of someone with high functioning anxiety. Get in, get it taken care of, get out. However, the more I do this work with shame, mongers, and high functioning anxiety, the more I am amazed […]
I just can’t get over what a strange time we are living in. I mean, totally strange. It is a holiday weekend for goodness sake and it doesn’t even feel like it, maybe because it has rained non-stop here for days, but mostly because there are no pools opening, no picnics planned, no graduations, no […]
This week has been particularly challenging for a variety of reasons, both physically and emotionally. My friend has texted me every day to see how I am doing and to remind me to be kind to myself. When I read her text yesterday and saw the “be kind” sentiment, I thought yeah, yeah, yeah… be […]
In talking with clients, checking in with myself, and observing social media, the one thing that is consistent these days is that our Mongers have been L.O.U.D. Belittling, berating, and shaming. She has been on the warpath. Too often we take that voice as truth, so today I wanted to share another perspective. The voice […]
Earlier this week, I had a really great day. I had a few work successes and some amazing conversations. All and all it was a good day, but I have to confess, good days are hard for me. Celebrating a win without naming where I can improve is challenging. As I was cooking dinner, I […]
She holds the goals of your Monger (to be safe and secure) without shaming and belittling you. She provides the support and encouragement of your BFF (“you are awesome”) without giving you a free pass to do whatever you want.
Your Biggest Fan always has your back, acknowledges your feelings, can see options, is wise about the struggle, and uses your values as guiding principles.
Years ago when I started teaching about the Monger and ‘that negative voice in my head’ I would spend a lot of time talking about the Monger and never talked about the counter to the Monger, what I now call the Biggest Fan. Truthfully, this is because my Biggest Fan’s voice was so quiet and […]
A different look at The Happier Approach characters not just how we talk to ourselves but how we interact with others. Which character are you? How do you interact with those around you? Press to Listen Links: The Happier Approach Book Like the podcast? Leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher Transcript: This is Episode 88. […]
“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” –Mother Theresa I love the quotes that make you pause and think, this would be one of them. I have written on this blog about kindness and appreciation, even about love. I wonder at times what keeps us from embracing the […]
I have received some questions about how to channel your Biggest Fan…today I answer them (or at least begin the conversation) Press to Listen Transcript Hi and welcome. You’re listening to The Stories From a Quest to Live Happier podcast, and I’m your host, Nancy Jane Smith. I’m a licensed professional counselor, and in this […]