I was sad to hear of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death, not just because of the deeper turmoil her death will plunge our country into but because she was a kind-hearted, passionate leader, and the world needs more of those right now. And yet, for her, I was relieved. She could lay down […]

2020 has thrust us out of our comfort zones and into a world of uncertainty, fear, and doubt. And yet, people with High Functioning Anxiety continue to pressure themselves to do better, be better, and improve. When life gets out of control, we double down on hustling. We amp up our need to be in […]

I frequently talk with clients about our desire to “hack ourselves into happiness.” We look for a secret formula. A formula that maybe we haven’t thought of or seen a prescription that we can easily follow to hack ourselves into happiness. Now, I know that a secret formula doesn’t exist, and yet, with all my […]

A theme that keeps popping up is the idea that we need the Monger to motivate us. We need that mean, nasty voice reminding us how we could be a better person or how we could be more efficient if only we accomplished more. When we hear the word kindness, we think–oh no, I can’t […]

A challenge in writing weekly helpful content for an audience of High Functioning Anxiety folks is it is hard to get past what I call the “shield of the Monger and the BFF.” Here is how the shield works: You read a self-help article let’s say it is about setting boundaries and your Monger says, […]

As high achievers our work seems to be all gas and no breaks. Go, go, go, all the time with little to no time to breathe. If you feel like you’re stuck in a constant state of “yes” at work and feeling like you’re drowning and can’t stop, you’re also probably feeling the weight of […]

On the surface, perfectionism doesn’t necessarily sound like a bad trait. In fact, many perfectionists are hard workers, determined, and strive to always improve. Perfectionism does have its downfalls and for people struggling with high functioning anxiety (HFA), it can seem like a whole new monster.   Perfectionism and anxiety don’t mix well and cango hand […]

For people with High Functioning Anxiety, we have built much of our lives on these two factors: Our Monger has convinced us we know nothing; we are flawed and wrong and continuously need correction. Because we are so flawed, we have must look outside for the answers. It has become habitual to discount our internal […]

Frequently I get asked, what is the benefit of having self-loyalty.  So I decided to walk you through the lives of 2 different women: Doubting Donna, who doesn’t trust herself and allows her Monger and shoulds to take over. And Self Loyal Samantha who doesn’t always get it perfect but actively works to tune into what […]

I have hit my wall and I hear it in my clients voices too. Their default coping mechanisms of push, push, push are fading. They can’t keep up this pace. We are all DONE. Done with COVID, done with being trapped at home with family, done with social distancing and masks, done with politics and […]