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“So are you going to take some time off around the Fourth of July holiday?” my husband asked recently. I stopped and paused. There were a couple of vacations planned in the spring that got canceled due to COVID and I just worked through them. My husband went on, “I mean, you haven’t really stopped […]

Feelings is the ultimate F word, or at least that is how I felt about feelings for a long time. Ironic that I am using Father’s Day to talk about feelings. For many of us, this can be an emotionally charged day whether we want to admit it or not. Parents, family, mothers, fathers bring […]

Last week I wrote that listen, learn, make corrections is my new motto. I heard that somewhere on social media and absolutely loved it. Not just in relation to what is happening in our larger world with the protests and the societal realizations around systemic racism, but in my day to day life. Listen, learn, make corrections is […]

Let me introduce myself – I am a white, upper middle class, liberal American woman. I am steeped in bias. I am fearful of doing it wrong. I am embarrassed for being so slow to step up and act. I feel ignorant, fragile, and stupid for feeling ignorant and fragile. I feel overwhelmed that the […]

When I first started counseling people, I was a fan of simple fixes and actionable strategies, which totally fits the profile of someone with high functioning anxiety. Get in, get it taken care of, get out. However, the more I do this work with shame, mongers, and high functioning anxiety, the more I am amazed […]

I just can’t get over what a strange time we are living in. I mean, totally strange. It is a holiday weekend for goodness sake and it doesn’t even feel like it, maybe because it has rained non-stop here for days, but mostly because there are no pools opening, no picnics planned, no graduations, no […]

Last night I hit a wall. Again. I admit I have hit the wall a few times during this pandemic, but last night was different. All of the feelings hit. The images of cars lined up for hours before the food banks even open, the articles about small businesses that probably won’t survive, the stories […]

This week has been particularly challenging for a variety of reasons, both physically and emotionally. My friend has texted me every day to see how I am doing and to remind me to be kind to myself. When I read her text yesterday and saw the “be kind” sentiment, I thought yeah, yeah, yeah… be […]

Earlier this week, a client* reached out to me via Voxer. We have been working on recognizing when her Monger was talking and then bringing in her Biggest Fan. I suggested she try one of my favorite techniques: When you notice your Monger talking, grab a piece of paper and write down everything she says. […]

Am I doing it right? What are the rules? Am I being a good girl? These are questions I have been hearing from both myself and my clients. Doing it right and following the rules are ways that people with High Functioning Anxiety keep their anxiety in check. Some of us learned this at an […]