We live our lives in When Then statements. We spend too much of our time waiting, hoping, wishing for our broken selves to be fixed so THEN we can be happy.
What if you aren’t doing anything wrong? What is happiness isn’t something you attain permanently? What if you are thinking about it wrong?
We all know that real change is slow. And yet, when change is slow, we beat ourselves up for doing it wrong. The marketing industry has convinced us change is fast, and if you aren’t changing fast, you are doing it wrong. We KNOW losing weight .5 to 1 lb. a week is healthier and […]
Recently my husband had an extended hospital stay.
The number one question I received from my well-meaning friends and family was: How are you going to take care of yourself while he is in the hospital?
“The best I can,” I told them. But this just did not satisfy their curiosity.
They wanted to hear about all the bubble baths, yoga, and meditation I had planned for this stressful time. But I knew better. There wasn’t a bubble bath in the world that was going to make this easier.
My husband was in the hospital. It was going to be stressful. I didn’t know what to expect. The self-help industry’s’ idea of self-care wasn’t going to be any help. I was simply going to do the best I can.
All this month we are looking at how the self-help industry has sold us a bunch of toxic information. And for those of us with High Functioning Anxiety who love looking outside of ourselves for the answers, this toxicity is especially troubling.
In today’s episode, I take a closer look at self-care and how it isn’t just yoga, bubble baths and breathing apps. Self-care done well is the ultimate in self-loyalty.
One of the differences between High Functioning Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety disorder is there isn’t panic attacks and fear but rather the anxiety takes shape in more of a low buzz. I know I am in trouble and I know my High Functioning Anxiety has taken over when I get stuck on the to-do list […]
You’ve heard that winning isn’t everything but deep down you know that isn’t true. Striving to be the best is how you keep your edge.
In the last episode, I discussed the self-help industry’s positive thinking problem. In today’s episode of the Happier Approach, I discuss with Clair Booth, author of The Achiever Fever Cure: How I Learned to Stop Striving Myself Crazy, what it takes to start flourishing without being a high achiever.
Claire was a successful but stressed-out market research entrepreneur and executive suffering from what she calls “achiever fever”—constant striving coupled with chronic feelings of inadequacy. Sick and tired of feeling miserable–but ever the self-help skeptic–Claire decided to try anything that might bring relief, from mindfulness to martial arts, from spending ten days in silence to “smiling” at her spleen. At first, Claire was fearful that slowing down and softening up will mean losing her professional edge.
Instead, she discovered a more joyful and purposeful life, one that also turns out to be good for business.
One of the ways we protect ourselves from the judgment of our Monger (inner critic) is to start judging other people. In my book The Happier Approach I talk about three characters: The Monger (inner critic), The BFF (false self-compassion), and our Biggest Fan (the voice of wisdom and kindness). Today I want to talk […]
Last time we started pulling back the curtain on the toxicity that exists in the self-help industry. Today on the Happier Approach we examine one of the most toxic ideas pushed by the industry: positive thinking.
One of the most misleading concepts that the self-help industry teaches is the benefit positive thinking – change your thoughts and stop feeling so negative! If it were that easy – if all we had to do was put on our rose-colored glasses – why are so many people still depressed, anxious and overwhelmed?
It is my theory that the self-improvement industry is selling the wrong thing. We don’t need to simply “think positively.” Instead, we need to quiet the cacophony of positive thinking messages that come our way on a daily basis–and listen in to our own inner peace.
Those of us with High Functioning Anxiety have very loud Mongers. That inner critic voice is all-powerful and frequently convinces us we have a lot of power too. According to our Monger, we can: get fired by missing one phone call. make someone hate us by accidentally forgetting their name. lose a friendship of 10 […]
Live your best life, think positively, high vibes only! Frankly, it’s become toxic.
Over the next few episodes of The Happier Approach, we’ll be taking an in-depth look at the personal growth industry just might be making your anxiety worse.
I’ll be sharing the tools and resources I use with myself and clients to quiet the cacophony of positive thinking messages that come our way on a daily basis–and listen in to our own inner peace.
People dealing with high functioning anxiety disorder perceive the world as a continuous flow of deadlines to be met. There is a constant need to evaluate and re-evaluate, plan, check and re-check. Over and over. Analyzing not only what happened that day and how well you did (or didn’t do), but also looking toward the […]
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