When I first started counseling people, I was a fan of simple fixes and actionable strategies, which totally fits the profile of someone with high functioning anxiety. Get in, get it taken care of, get out. However, the more I do this work with shame, mongers, and high functioning anxiety, the more I am amazed […]

I just can’t get over what a strange time we are living in. I mean, totally strange. It is a holiday weekend for goodness sake and it doesn’t even feel like it, maybe because it has rained non-stop here for days, but mostly because there are no pools opening, no picnics planned, no graduations, no […]

Last night I hit a wall. Again. I admit I have hit the wall a few times during this pandemic, but last night was different. All of the feelings hit. The images of cars lined up for hours before the food banks even open, the articles about small businesses that probably won’t survive, the stories […]

This week has been particularly challenging for a variety of reasons, both physically and emotionally. My friend has texted me every day to see how I am doing and to remind me to be kind to myself. When I read her text yesterday and saw the “be kind” sentiment, I thought yeah, yeah, yeah… be […]

Earlier this week, a client* reached out to me via Voxer. We have been working on recognizing when her Monger was talking and then bringing in her Biggest Fan. I suggested she try one of my favorite techniques: When you notice your Monger talking, grab a piece of paper and write down everything she says. […]

Am I doing it right? What are the rules? Am I being a good girl? These are questions I have been hearing from both myself and my clients. Doing it right and following the rules are ways that people with High Functioning Anxiety keep their anxiety in check. Some of us learned this at an […]

In talking with clients, checking in with myself, and observing social media, the one thing that is consistent these days is that our Mongers have been L.O.U.D. Belittling, berating, and shaming. She has been on the warpath. Too often we take that voice as truth, so today I wanted to share another perspective. The voice […]

As we start week four or five of quarantine, depending on where you live, we are settling into this new normal. And by settling in, I am not implying that this is easy! Something that makes us feel better is knowing we are not alone; we are not the only ones feeling a certain way. […]

I read A LOT of advice this week. Clients are sending me articles they enjoy reading like this one or this one or even this one, and I love every one of them. (Thank you for sending them—please keep them coming.) There are all kinds of messages out there about how we should be responding. […]

The question I keep getting the most is, “Everyone keeps telling me to allow my feelings, but how am I supposed to do that when I have so many!?” So true. I hear you. So today I want to share an exercise that I stole from Randall and Beth from This is Us called Worst […]