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Episode 164: Practicing Self-Loyalty in the New Year – Part 1

For years, the month of December was my month of debauchery. My BFF (the voice of false self-compassion) ran the show. After months of being told what I “should” do by my Monger in December, I could throw all the rules out the window. 

December was the one month out of the year that I gave myself permission to not listen to the shaming voice of the Monger: I gave myself the free pass of December because I knew come January, my Monger would drop the hammer and criticize me into submission.

I believed, on January 1st (well, 2nd really because on the 1st, I was still recovering from all the December merriment), I would magically become a new person. Someone who loved vegetables and hated sugar, desired to work out every day, easily abstained from drinking, and uber-productive.

I am sure you could guess how that went. Long story short, come mid-January, my Monger had a field day with all the ways I was failing. This all-or-nothing thinking ran my life for years—decades really.

But something changed, thanks to the practice of self-loyalty. 

December isn’t a magical month of no consequences anymore. Instead, I have days where I overeat sugar and drink too much caffeine and days where I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. And my worthiness isn’t linked to any of it. Whether I eat five sugar cookies or five carrots, I am still me: broken, imperfect, smart, funny, overly-sensitive, loyal Nancy Jane Smith. 

But the idea of change and resolutions still intrigues me. So on this episode, I am bringing back my podcast producer Sean McMullin. You might remember him from episode 155 and episode 161 where we discussed meditation and mindfulness.

This is part one of this conversation and I’m so excited for you to hear it. Part two will be released next week!

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The definition of Self-Loyalty
  • How self-loyalty works with the idea of change and resolutions
  • Sean’s plans for the new year–combining a word of the year with quarterly themes
  • How to hold your resolutions loosely AND actually make change

Learn more about Sean McMullin:

Learn more about Nancy:

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I’ve been working with women like you living with hidden anxiety every day for over 20 years as a coach and counselor.

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