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Episode 141: Setting Healthy Boundaries as an Act of Kindness with Randi Buckley

There are numerous definitions of boundaries. 

One of them is that boundaries serve as expectation management. At its core, it’s quite simple: boundaries create an expectation for what I can expect from you and, conversely, what you can expect from me. 

Healthy boundaries create healthy expectations and are truly essential for any kind of relationship—but people with high functioning anxiety really struggle with setting them for a number of reasons. 

They think that people won’t like them.

There might be conflict. 

It might mean they hurt someone’s feelings.

Ouch. 

But when setting boundaries, any of the above can happen—but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow through. In fact, boundaries are one way we can be both clear and kind with others. 

If that feels counterintuitive to you, I recommend giving this episode a listen. Today, I’m discussing the importance of boundaries with Randi Buckley. 

Randi is a leadership mentor, author, and podcaster who offers a different way of thinking for something more. She is also the creator of the group- and self-led programs, Healthy Boundaries for Kind PeopleThe Deep, and Maybe Baby. and works with wildly intelligent individuals and organizations, and is a curator of context, nuance, and discernment. 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Why using mind reading to keep the peace often leads to bigger blow-ups
  • What it means to carry the emotional weight for other people, how we naturally do it, and, more importantly, how to stop
  • How the break down of setting boundaries is more than just saying no
  • The difference between people-pleasing and kindness (and why one undermines boundaries while the other does not)

Learn more about Randi:

Learn more about Nancy:

Helping people with High Functioning Anxiety is a personal mission for me. I have a special place in my heart for this struggle because it’s both something I dealt with unknowingly for years, and because it silently affects so many people who think this is just how it is. 

Working with me this way is an incredibly efficient and effective way to deal with your anxiety in the moment–without waiting for your next appointment.

I have been doing this work for over 20 years and Coach in Your Pocket is the most effective and most life-changing work I have ever done. My clients are consistently blown away by how these daily check-ins combined with the monthly face-to-face video meetings create slow, lasting changes that reprogram their High Functioning Anxiety tendencies over time.

Over the course of the three-month program, we meet once a month for a face-to-face session via a secure video chat, and then throughout the entire three months, you have access to me anytime you are feeling anxious, having a Monger attack, celebrating a win, or just need to check-in, and I will respond to you during my office hours (Monday through Friday, 9 am – 6 pm EST).

Ready to get started? Email me: nancyjane@live-happier.com and we’ll set up a free 30-minute consultation to see if this process is a good fit for you