Episode 125: Acknowledging Feelings When They Don’t Seem Appropriate

When my mom told me she wouldn’t be visiting for Easter this year – choosing to visit a friend instead – I experienced a flood of emotions. 

I immediately felt disappointed and sad.

Easter isn’t a big deal in our family – we don’t even go to church – but I was still looking forward to seeing her. I was bummed. 

And then my Monger started sounding off: “What’s the big deal? She’s allowed to go to visit her friend and it isn’t like you are a deeply religious family or anything. You are so uptight and rigid! This shouldn’t make you sad.” 

The rest of the day when I would feel sad or disappointed the voice of the Monger would swoop in and tell me that my feelings were irrational and I would feel terrible about myself.  

But here is the thing: feelings happen. It doesn’t matter if the feelings make sense or not. You are still having them and that is more than okay, no matter what your Monger is telling you. 

Today, we are continuing this month’s deep dive into the F word.  In episode 119 I introduced the topic of Acknowledging your feelings as a key part of reducing anxiety, and last week, I addressed 2 of the fears we have about feelings. Today, I am going to explore what to do when your feelings just don’t seem appropriate. 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What happens when we don’t give ourselves permission to feel and confuse the natural response of acknowledging our feelings with demanding a behavior change. 
  • How it is a myth that if we feel sad that means we have to take action on that feeling
  • Why the idea of”‘changing our thoughts” or “fixing our mindsets” never works
  • How when we have High Functioning Anxiety we learn to compartmentalize those feelings, putting them in a box deep inside, never seeing them again


Helping people with High Functioning Anxiety is a personal mission for me. I have a special place in my heart for this struggle because it’s both something I dealt with unknowingly for years, and because it silently affects so many people who think this is just how it is. 

Working with me this way is an incredibly efficient and effective way to deal with your anxiety in the moment–without waiting for your next appointment.

I have been doing this work for over 20 years and Coach in Your Pocket is the most effective and most life-changing work I have ever done. My clients are consistently blown away by how these daily check-ins combined with the monthly face-to-face video meetings create slow, lasting changes that reprogram their High Functioning Anxiety tendencies over time.

Over the course of the three-month program, we meet once a month for a face-to-face session via a secure video chat, and then throughout the entire three months, you have access to me anytime you are feeling anxious, having a Monger attack, celebrating a win, or just need to check-in, and I will respond to you during my office hours (Monday through Friday, 9 am – 6 pm EST).

Ready to get started? Email me: and we’ll set up a free 30-minute consultation to see if this process is a good fit for you