Episode 121: The 3 Steps of A.S.K.: Kindly Pulling Back

Episode 121: The 3 Steps of A.S.K.: Kindly Pulling Back

No matter how hard we try to keep up the veneer of perfection, every now and then we make a mistake. 

Mistakes happen and when they do, we can be absolutely horrible to ourselves–telling ourselves things like: I’m such a failure, I deserve to be fired, I am a terrible parent. 

Sometimes we can even rationalize our way back to knowing that it was a small mistake that truly doesn’t matter in the long run. 

But then there are the times when we really mess up. When we legitimately make a mistake in a way that really matters. We go against our values, we drop the ball, we let down our spouse. 

What happens when we really mess up and can’t just rationalize our way out of it? When our inner voice isn’t making a mountain out of a molehill? When our inner voice is taking an actual mountain and adding a shame blizzard of epic proportions?

How do we ever get past this? What’s next? 

This episode is about the big mistakes. It’s about the concrete steps you can take to move through those situations. Calm your anxiety and feel better. 

Today, we’re finishing up this three-part series on the A.S.K. method for dealing with your High Functioning Anxiety by examining the third step: kindly pull back and see the big picture. I talk about those real mess-ups, the missed deadlines, the times we scream at our kids or embarrass our husband in front of his boss. The times we really mess up.

Can kindness really pull us out of that? 

Yes, it can. 

If you haven’t already, take the time to go back and listen to the first two episodes in this series: Acknowledging Your Feelings and Slow Down and Get Into Your Body.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What to do when we legitimately make a mistake in a way that really matters
  • How no amount of beating yourself up, shaming yourself, or telling yourself how much you suck is going to make those mistakes any better
  • How kindly pulling back to see the big picture allows you to call in the voice of the Biggest Fan and hear from that kind voice of internal wisdom
  • How to lean on the 3 traits of the Biggest Fan – Kindness, Forgiveness, and Curiosity


The Happier Approach Book

I’ve been working with women like you living with hidden anxiety every day for over 20 years as a coach and counselor.

I wrote The Happier Approach to give you a framework for dealing with your anxiety and start living happier.

The Happier Approach will help you understand the voices in your head and what to do with them. It’s not another woo-woo self-help book that asks you to think positively and live your best life. It’s a practical guidebook for getting out of survival mode and finding a genuinely happy and productive life.

Know someone who has High Functioning Anxiety and a VERY LOUD Monger, the Happier Approach makes a great gift. 

Find The Happier Approach on Amazon, Audible, or Barnes & Noble!

And  Click here to learn more about how you can with me through on-demand coaching!