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Today is my birthday–38 years old today. Let me start by saying that I love my Birthday–I love celebrating it, honoring it and just living it up! I have been known to thrown a mean Birthday party for myself. This year is no different, in the celebratory department–it is a little different in the significance of it all. For some reason 38 has always be THE YEAR in my brain. I can remember when I was younger 38 was always a milestone year–when I would think of my life as an adult I would think of being 38. When I would play Barbies she would always be 38, established with her career, her cool convertible and of course her fabulous self designed home (my Barbie was always an architect in her own firm)
So this week has been full of anticipation of my 38th Birthday–full of looking back, checking in, and honoring the milestone that for me is 38. These self inflicted milestones always fascinated me–for some people it is turning 40, 45 or 50. For some people it is the day they have their first child, get married or buy a house. Regardless of what it is we all have milestones that pop up throughout our time on earth. I have mixed emotions about these milestones. They serve as a wonderful stopgap to honor where we are, what we have accomplished and where we want to go next. That is it–they serve as a time to HONOR ourselves and our lives. Milestones don’t serve us when they begin to be a time to measure where we thought we would be, beat ourselves up for not getting there and then live in fear about what the future might bring. For a lot of people I think that is what Birthdays signify a chance to see how one has failed against the proverbial life yard stick.
Last night as my nearest and dearest were walking back to our car from dinner, we were discussing the significance of turning 38 and he asked me “So are you where you thought you would be at 38?” And as I listed all the things my 9 year old self thought my 38 year old self would have (kids, convertible, husband, career, happiness) I realized I was measuring my life by something a 9 year old (Bless her heart) with limited life experience THOUGHT I would have. So no, I am not exactly where my 9 year old self thought I would be at 38–but I am exactly where my 38 year old self wants to be. I am living the spirit of what I wanted to have. I am happy, I am in a supportive loving relationship, I have a career that makes my heart sing and I am surrounded by friends and family who think I rock and vice versa–so do I have a perfect life? No. Am I doing pretty good–yes.
As Aidan over at Ivy League Insecurities wrote today–Do you love your life? And I can honestly say at 38 yes I do!! What better Birthday gift is there?
Thanks to Will Clayton for the Birthday pic.
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