You don't have to live stressed out and exhausted.

Would you Treat Your Daughter Like That?

What is wrong with you?

Just sit down and do it?

Quit whining

Why do you make everything so dramatic

Get a grip

Get over yourself.

Those are just a few of the statement I said to myself recently while I was experiencing writer’s block. Mean, nasty, stuff. To say the least, it wasn’t very motivating.

I realized that day how often I abandon myself. How often I hang myself out to dry. And if I don’t have my back who does?

I see it all the time with clients. They come into my office and share how they wish their husband was more supportive or more loving. At some point, I will ask them, “How supportive and loving are you to yourself?” And they look at me with a strange expression. And I go on to say “If YOU can’t be loving to yourself or support yourself how can you expect to welcome it from your husband?”  It is true. So often we blame others for not being able to give the right things to us when we can’t give it to ourselves. We are frustrated that our spouses abandon us when we abandon ourselves every day.

My favorite question to ask is, “Would you Treat Your Daughter Like That?” Even if you don’t have a daughter, you can visualize a young female who you want to grow up to be a confident woman. Would you say to her:

What is wrong with you?

Just sit down and do it!

Quit whining

Why do you make everything so dramatic

Get a grip

Get over yourself.

If she came to you saying she was struggling with writing a paper for school?

No, you would probably say, “Ok, is there anything you are nervous about? Let’s just sit down and set the timer for 15 minutes and you just start writing, anything you want to? Or if you write for 30 minutes you can have 15 minutes to do anything you want.”

In the new responses, you show up for your daughter. You meet her where she is and lovingly encourage her to do better. You don’t give her a pass. And you don’t belittle her into action.

Try it. When you catch yourself abandoning you, ask yourself:  “Would I Treat my Daughter Like That? What would I say to her?”

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