Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I am slowly getting back in the swing of things. I was happy to have time off to cook delicious meals with family, laugh until my belly ached with friends and curl up on the couch with a good book and many, many rounds of Candy Crush (can we say addiction?) but I am also happy to be back at my office and seeing clients again next week. I have a lot of fun stuff coming up this year and I am excited to share it with you to get all the info make sure you are signed up for my weekly newsletter.
Over the past week I have been inundated with information about how to end 2013 and how to start 2014. Rituals, calendars, and systems you name it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the New Year. I love the idea of a new start, and new hope. I also love the idea of reflecting, ritualizing and making changes. But what I don’t love about the new year is the overwhelming message that gets beaten into our heads. YOU ARE NOT OK AND YOU NEED TO BE SOMETHING ELSE. In other words, you MUST CHANGE in order to BE BETTER and more importantly ONCE YOU DO CHANGE THEN YOU WILL BE HAPPY. So this year, in 2014 as you sit down to make your resolutions or review they one’s you have already made I encourage you to throw in a little twist.
What if rather than saying:
- I am going to lose 30 lbs (because then I will be skinny, beautiful and happy)
- I am going to quit smoking once and for all (because then I will be healthy and addiction free)
- I am going to let go of all my vices and just be my best self (because then I will be perfect in every way)
What if we said:
In 2014 I am going to try my hardest to approach myself with as much love and compassion as possible.
No matter what you want to accomplish in 2014 lose weight, quit smoking, start meditating or just plain live happier, it all starts with compassion for where you are RIGHT NOW. Lasting change can’t occur without compassion. Compassion doesn’t mean permission to continue the behavior. Compassion means the understanding that you ended 2013 as a wonderful, wise, loving person. Yes, there is always room for change. There is always room for growth. But you ‘as you are’ are amazingly wonderful. If we all made simply made our resolution…to fully accept and love who we are right now, period as is. Wow–the world would be an amazing place.
With love and compassion you could say:
I am going to appreciate my body all 30 lbs extra of it and I am going to treat it with the love and respect it deserves. I will not starve it. I will not under nourish it. I will not load it with sugar and fat. And when I do I will smile, breathe and remind myself that I am human and change takes time and start different the next day.
I am going to let go of smoking and recognize that I am addicted. I am going to try my hardest to replace that addiction with something healthy. I am going to love and support myself through the process of breaking this addiction.
Real change takes baby steps. Real change takes daily practice. Real change takes awareness, intention and compassion. So in 2014 I encourage you if you do nothing else practice compassion.
I would love to hear from you in the comments: How do you feel about resolutions? What are your resolutions or rituals around the New Year? How have you been successful with change in the past?