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The Grass Isn’t Always Greener

I love the saying above.  It is true, the grass may LOOK greener but it is still grass and still needs maintenance.

We all know this too well, the concept of “once I get there I will be happier”.  Once I find the job, meet my partner, get the promotion, find my passion then I will be happier.  Inevitably we get there and we realize that yep, there is grass and yep we are responsible for tending to it.

One of my favorite personal examples of this phenomenon is in meeting my nearest and dearest.  I was single for most of my 20s and 30s. I would say I was happily single, I traveled a lot had a lot of friends and a career I enjoyed.  But I always wanted to find someone.  To be honest I LONGED to meet someone. I would look at my friends who had relationships and just KNEW their grass was not only greener but also easier to maintain.  In my quest to end all my woes and get the perfect looking grass I longed for, I invested a small fortune in on-line dating services, coaches and even a matchmaker (bad choice and a story for another time). I went on countless dates, spent hours trying to ‘fix’ myself and many nights crying in defeat on the couch.

I confess, it got to the point where I blamed all my problems on the fact that I didn’t have a partner: if only I had a partner, getting my car fixed would be easier, cooking dinner would be better, sickness would be easier and basically the grass would be perpetually green and trimmed.  (Just in case you were wondering, that is not true.)

And then I met my nearest and dearest–to say the least our story is a long and complicated one–but it ended well in that we are now happily married and enjoying life.  Although I admit the grass is a little greener on this side of the fence it is still hard to maintain and keep green.  It has been humbling to see how much I blamed my dingy grass on not having a partner that had absolutely nothing to do with a partner. OR how much greener I thought having a partner would make my grass.

Bottom line having a partner is great AND I am still myself AND now I have to figure out how to be myself with a partner (lots of ups and downs to that process)

Yes, my ‘grass is greener’ story has to do with finding a partner but your story could be about a job, a house, a trip or even a new sofa.

ANYTIME we get stuck in the idea of “my life will be perfect/better/complete when I get ______” we are setting ourselves up to not live happier.

The grass might be greener, but it is still grass.  You will still be you.  You will just be you PLUS whatever it is you have been wishing for (with all it’s problems and concerns).  All we have is right now, today the present moment and our present circumstances.

We can always be striving, improving, job searching, and dating but when we convince ourselves we will be ‘cured’ at the end we will be wrong.

Where in your life are you living for the next thing?  Where in your life are you thinking if only I had ____ I will be better?


Speaking of living in the present moment..have you joined the Live Happier Daily Challenge???

Today is the first OFFICIAL day!  Go to the Nancy Jane Smith Live Happier Facebook page and post how you are Living Happier today.

Every day you participate you will be automatically entered into the drawing for a FREE copy of my upcoming Live Happier e-course.

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