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Recently, a friend of mine who is going through a challenging personal trauma said to me, “I try and try to be grateful to be positive and sometimes it just hurts.” Yes, I nodded sometimes it does just hurt. Sometimes the pain and grief of life is so overwhelming it takes our breath away.
Sometimes it just hurts.
In those times, it is so important to have compassion for ourselves. There is a time and place for gratitude and positive thinking AND there is a time and place for grief and pain. Life is both. The trick is not getting stuck too long in either place. When we only live in the pain we don’t allow room for the every day moments of life, we don’t allow space for the every day miracles. When we only live in the positive we can be living in denial…avoiding what’s real and missing some key moments of life.
Pain is as much a part of life as joy….it is just more challenging to sit in pain. There are moments in life that just require you to pause and say this hurts to grieve, cry, hit a pillow and let it all out. And there are times when we get stuck in poor me….when we can’t see the joy in our friend’s promotion because we are too wrapped up in our own grief. In our world we tend to either live in one extreme or the other. The key is holding both.
- Balancing the grief over the personal tragedy you might be facing with the glimmer of a beautiful sunset.
- Balancing the tears over the loss of a parent with the smile of the children playing at the funeral.
- Balancing the very real fear of a potential job loss with the success of running your first 5K
- Balancing the sadness over an pending divorce with a night out with the girls.
There is a time and place for both grief and joy. It is helpful I think, from time to time to remind ourselves Sometimes..It Just Hurts and that’s ok.