Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
Yesterday morning my nearest and dearest and I headed out for an 8:15 appointment. So we had left on-time (shocker) and when we hit the main street traffic was congested. We chalked it up to rush hour traffic which we usually miss since we both work strange hours. As we made our way on to the freeway we soon realized why there was so much congestion–the main outer belt had been shut down and we were being forced off the freeway in the opposite direction!!
Panic set in–we were already running late and now we were headed in the wrong direction with thousands of other panicked cars also headed in the wrong direction!! It didn’t help that I no longer carry my i-phone so looking up directions, finding the name of the place to call and say we were late, all impossible. So I pulled out the map from my glove box (circa 1990–a shout out to my father who always insisted I carry a map) and we called my mom to look up the phone number (who did so using the yellow pages–again circa 1990). Long story short we made it to our destination just 45 minutes behind schedule.
It got me thinking about unexpected road blocks and diversions in our personal life path. So often we are headed down a path, and suddenly we are met with a road closure and forced to detour–whether that be an we meet the love of our life, we get offered a new job, someone close to us unexpectedly dies, or we are presented with an opportunity we can’t pass up. Detours both good and bad happen all the time in our lives–the trick is in how we handle them. Panic, uncertainty, doubts and questioning all take place at the same time as figuring out how to move forward and making informed decisions.
Too often we pick one or the other panic or stoic resolve. We don’t allow for both. We either move into panic which makes moving forward, next to impossible OR we pick stoic resolve where we pick a new path and stick to it without allowing for the grief, doubt and uncertainty that comes with change.
Through the uncertainty the problems arise the questions that need answered come to the surface. If you just pick a choice with stoic resolve you might miss an area that needs your attention. Throughout our journey yesterday am we were consistently recalibrating, shifting between ‘we got this, we are doing fine’ and ‘OMG we are LATE, we are going the wrong way’.
In true transparency–it is much easier to go through the road closure and detour of life (and traffic) when you have someone to share them with. I admit I tend to be a stoic resolve person making decisions, not always taking into account emotions while my nearest and dearest tends to be a panic person pointing out the issues, and problems –so together a natural balance seems to form.