Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
This sign sits in my office. It is one of my favorite sayings and is the guiding principle of my work. “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work, it means to be in a the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”–Anonymous.
This is also my definition of living happier. Living Happier means that even when life gets rocky and hard you can still keep your footing, stay grounded and remain at peace…content. Living Happier does not mean always feeling happy, never dealing with problems, never experiencing pain or sorrow, never moving through hard work. When I work with clients I help them to become more at peace, to recognize no matter what the changes, transition or decisions that need to be made they can remain grounded, solid and calm in their hearts. It is common place when we hit snags in the road to throw up our own roadblocks, through drama, arguments, and avoidance. When we can experience these snags through a place of peace life is better.
Last week I wrote a blog about a question that would change your life and I asked you to visualize how you want your life to look and start making steps to get there. Someone asked me–what if my vision doesn’t match my families? And then gave the example what if I want to be near the beach and my family is perfectly happy in Minnesota how can I make that happen? It was a great question. And of course I have an answer–that is not an easy one.
First off I would encourage you to look at ALL the options. You could move your family to Fl, take your kids out of school and change your residence permanently, or live summers in Fl, or just you could move to FL and you could visit your family, or you could leave your family all together and live at the beach (probably not the best option but I said to look at all of them!).
Then I would ask what is most important? Where you live or keeping your family happy? I mean in all honesty families can be moved–that may not make them the happiest but it can be done. But to be clear that you aren’t moving to the beach because you value what’s best for your family and not because your family won’t ‘let you’ is helpful.
I would then ask, why the beach? Do you like the warmth, the water, the sun or the lifestyle? Is it the people or the sense of always being on vacation? What about the beach is particularly attracting? Then I would ask is it possible to get those things in Minnesota or in your life now. Maybe it means saving money so you can take all your vacations at the beach or by a beach house? Heading to visit one of the lakes/streams and rivers in Minnesota more often or implementing a more laid back lifestyle into your life.
Finally I would start making a plan for moving to the beach–maybe it is once the kids are grown or before they enter middle school or when you retire. But start saving for the beach house, cutting out pictures of the beach house, making the beach house a reality in your mind’s eye.
It is possible to have the life you dream of…not always in the time frame you want it or in the exact way you desire it. BUT I believe we need to take an active role in designing that dream, and living that life by setting our priorities, taking small steps and living the dream. Using the above quote as your guide and remembering peace is being in the midst of the trials and tribulations and feeling calm in your heart. Being in the midst of not being able to live your dreams RIGHT NOW and still finding a way to live happier in your heart, that is the goal.