You don't have to live stressed out and exhausted.

Mourning the Loss of the Magic Button

answer-mdA few weeks ago, I re-posted a post about the Magic Button to Living Happier.  It talked about the fact that there is no Magic Button to being happier, reducing stress and feeling at peace.  I believe this is a fact of life. I KNOW this to be true to the depth of my being.   And yet, with all my being, I WANT there to be a magic button.  I want there to be an easy answer, a magic wand, a formula for happiness, and I know my clients do too.

My bookshelf is a testament to my search for the magic button…because every time I got scared, doubtful or stressed I was CONVINCED someone somewhere had the answer and I would hightail it to my local bookstore, find an expert on-line or attend a personal growth seminar to buy their answer.  Eventually, I realized they don’t know THE ANSWER.  They have tips and tricks that will help if I implement them…but I still need to do the work.  I still needed to practice…on a daily basis.

Just like buying a workout video won’t magically put you into good shape, buying a personal growth book/seminar won’t either.  Real personal growth requires daily intention and guidance by those who teach us that we have to love ourselves and trust ourselves rather than look for an easy answer.

The loss of the magic button is a painful truth, and I believe there is mourning for the loss of the magic button that needs to occur. The quest for the magic button gave me hope that I could easily get out of my pain and suffering.  But it also gave me a lot of unnecessary drama, angst, and disappointment (not to mention the loss of money in buying all this STUFF).

The quest for the magic button kept me stuck in a cycle shame and insecurity that looks like this.

A feeling of doubt and insecurity
Searching for someone somewhere to KNOW an easy way (the magical button)
Finding someone who says they know and feeling hopeful
Attempt to do what they say but not feeling any easy immediate relief
Shame and belittling of myself that I still don’t feel any better, and now I am out more money.
A feeling that something’s wrong with me.
REPEAT….

THEN after repeating this over and over ad nauseam and never getting an answer, the realization FINALLY came…THERE IS NO MAGIC BUTTON.  The answer lies within, and I need to start by trusting my inner wisdom and myself. Like I said, I KNOW this is true and since realizing this my life has dramatically shifted for the better (and I am saving lots of money-ha!).

However even knowing my life is better since accepting that the quest for the magic button is futile when I am filled with doubt and insecurity the temptation is so great to look externally for the answer, a new program a new book.

But now I lovingly remind myself:

“Nope, the answer lies within”.  “It is here, in my, get quiet, get uncomfortable and see what happens.”

AND I allow myself a period of mourning for the magic button…because there was a great high in the hope that someone else could tell me what to do.  I give myself permission to feel that hope and then the loss of that hope and the realization that I CAN figure this out it is just going to take some practice.  It is both a mix of sad and empowering.

Does this mean I never ask for help? HELL NO, I ask for help all the time. But I am much pickier about whom my mentors are and what I am asking from them.  I make sure I get help from people who aren’t selling magic buttons but instead are selling me help in getting back in touch with myself. I look for people who will help me with my practice of self-awareness, curiosity, and self-compassion.

You have the answers. We all need a little help in remembering that and implementing that concept.

I would love to hear from you in the comments:  What do you think about the quest for the magic button? Can you relate?

IF you still need a fix of the Magic Button—check out this site:  http://make-everything-ok.com/

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