Join the mailing list for weekly wisdom and updates.
Today’s live happier tip might seem a little counter-intuitive. But in my opinion, one of the biggest myths is that to live happier you always have to be positive. Now don’t get me wrong I think positive thinking goes a long way in helping us get out of a rut or get through a challenging time. But there is a difference between being positive and running from the negative.
Sometimes life is hard; it is challenging, we have bad days, we hear bad news, we feel sad or angry, or like we want to scream at the tops of our lungs with frustration. To live happier–we have to FEEL those emotions. Not stuff them down with ‘positive thinking’ but face them. These emotions can build to the point they become like a giant monster chasing after us. Unfortunately, it is a human reaction to keep running. Meanwhile the monster gets bigger and bigger, and we become more and more frustrated with trying to out run it with our positive thinking. When we stop and turn around and let ourselves face the monster–allowing the grief, anger or sadness to be expressed the monster will shrink before our eyes and we can live happier.
Whether it be a transition from a break-up, the loss of a parent, becoming an empty nester, having our first baby, or losing a job. Life throws us curve balls that are just hard–and it takes more than positive thinking to get through them. First, it takes crying, venting, screaming and a genuine expression of the emotions we are feeling. Then we need to ‘pull ourselves up out of bed’ or off the couch and start putting the pieces back together –through the support of our friends, family and even a little positive thinking we will get through it. But the beauty is allowing yourself to think positively AND experience the ‘negative’ emotions as they come up.
So the next time you are frustrated with work or sad about losing a partner or a parent–let it out FEEL that frustration, cry those tears, face the emotional monster and then you will be able to move through the negativity and live happier.