Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
Saturday I got my hair cut and colored. Nothing dramatic in the cut but I did go a little darker in the color–and it looks really nice. I have been out and about, seen friends and family, talked with clients and only 1 person noticed. I should say only one person commented which really got me thinking about change, paying attention, commenting, sharing etc. For the record I wasn’t upset that know one noticed…more intrigued. So here are a few thoughts from a hair cut. (I know it sounds totally crazy but trust me it pulled up a lot for me)
Observation: It is rare that we truly SEE other people. When you think about it how often do you really look at those you love. How often do you really notice them and take in all that they are. So often we are too busy with our own world to take the time to SEE those closest to us. Instead, we put our preconceived ideas on them. We put our vision of them on them and don’t really SEE them for who they are.
Lesson: As you engage with the significant people in your life, notice how often you don’t really SEE them. Pay attention to how often you multi-task or half listen. When you are engaging with someone practice really being present to them.
Observation: As we make changes in our lives that feel HUGE to others they are insignificant. Whether you are changing your hair color, changing your relationship with food, or changing how much you speak up for yourself change is hard. Most of us do change in baby steps that we perceive as ginormous shifts. I see it with clients all the time they take a risk and ask for something in their lives or they do 5 minutes of breathing a day or they don’t get stuck in unhealthy conflict and they feel amazing and no one notices. Change can be harder when we don’t have a witness. When we don’t have a cheerleading squad.
Lesson: It is really important that if you don’t have super observant people in your life that you pick one or two safe people with whom you can share your victories (big and little).
Observation: Sometimes we just don’t take the time to comment. I know I am guilty of this we notice something different. We see that someone is doing something different, acting different or looks different and we don’t take the time to comment.
Lesson: Offer compliments, share the positive changes we see, notice how you feel when someone compliments you and pay it forward.
There you have it my observations from a recent haircut–you just never know where inspiration is going to strike.
I would love to hear from you in the comments: Do you agree with my observations? Do you ever get frustrated when people don’t notice?
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