Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
I wrote this post when I moved my offices 6 years ago…but it still holds true today. As the quote above says, it is always best to join the dance.
Recently I moved my office–which is a good thing. I am closer to my home, it has more space and my own waiting room. All and all a good change. It is something I have wanted to do for awhile now and am very excited that it has finally happen. However as I moved my furniture in and busied myself with decorating and arranging I couldn’t help but notice my anxiety level was increasing. On moving day I turned to a friend of mine who helped me move and just said “Ok, I am going to cry for no reason now” and he looked at me and said, “Go ahead, change is hard and this is a big change.” First I thought “Thank God, for such supportive friends” and then I thought, “Change is hard yet it is the one thing that is consistent in our lives”.
As humans we resist change–yes there are those who live on the edge and love mixing things up–but for the majority of us change is hard. Moving, having kids, starting a relationship or a job, ending a relationship or job, getting a dog (something else I recently did) all add change to our lives. And with that change comes resistance and stress.
Even the good changes cause us to have an increase in anxiety. But as I stood on my back porch crying, I thought–is it really the change and ‘the stress’ that comes with a new office or is it my resistance to the change and the resulting stress that is the problem? Maybe if I embraced the change–admitted that change is hard–and moved forward with it rather than talking myself out of the stress of it all, I wouldn’t get to the point where I needed the tears. If I just give myself permission to feel the stress of the change as I went along instead of constantly telling myself “this is a good thing, you SHOULD be HAPPY”, “stop stressing you are being silly”. If I had some intentionality around what I tell myself I would say “change is hard, you want to move and moving is good AND moving is hard”, “you like your routine and you are establishing a new one–good for you!!”
As with many lessons it comes down to self talk–the messages I send myself have become more loving as I make this transition–and because of that the transition has become much more enjoyable!!
Here’s to change–the one constant in our lives!!!