Is Your Past Holding You Back?

Everyone has a dirty little secret. Maybe you lost a job--maybe you didn't graduate from college--maybe you have been divorced (multiple times). I call these our dirty little secrets. Things you are ashamed of. Things that are holding you back from doing something great.

"I want to meet someone, but I can't date. How will I tell them I have been divorced twice?"

"I hate my job, but there is no point in looking for another one because I never graduated from college."

"I will never be able to retire because I had to declare bankruptcy."

The wonderful and amazing thing about dirty little secrets:

  1. We all have them.

  2. Whatever our secret is--it is probably only 'dirty' to us.

Over the years, we have taken our secret and cultivated it. We have become experts at growing the secret and allowing it to limit us, hold us back and keep us stuck. We have fine-tuned the secret. The irony is that we assume that everyone in the world is judging us for divorce or bankruptcy when in reality, everyone in the world is too consumed with their dirty little secret to judge us.

Yes, your dirty little secret might be painful and shame-filled. And it deserves to be grieved, honored, and moved past. We all have dirty little secrets.

So the next time you hear yourself say, "I can't do that because I have this dirty little secret."

Pause.

Breathe.

Ask yourself:

Is my secret that dirty?

Did I learn something in the process?

Do I have unfinished stuff from this secret (Do I need to grieve, apologize, forgive myself for someone else?)

Am I a better person because of that secret?

Could someone learn from me if I shared it with the world?

What is this secret holding me back from?

How would my life be different if I worked on letting it go?

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