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Is Your Past Holding You Back? What is YOUR Dirty Little Secret….

Dirty Little SecretEveryone has a dirty little secret. Maybe you lost a job…maybe you didn’t graduate from college…maybe you have been divorced (multiple times) I call these our dirty little secrets.  Things you are ashamed of.  Things that are holding you back from doing something great.

“I really want to meet someone, but I can’t date I how will I tell them I have been divorced twice”

“I hate my job, but I can’t find another one because I never graduated from college”

“I will never be able to retire, because I had to declare bankruptcy”

The wonderful and amazing thing about dirty little secrets:

1.We all have them.

2. Whatever our secret is–it is probably only ‘dirty’ to us.

Over the years, we have taken our secret and cultivated it. We have become experts at growing the secret and allowing it to limit us, hold us back and keep us stuck.  Basically we have fine tuned the secret.  The irony of it is that we assume that everyone in the world is judging us for the divorce or bankruptcy when in reality everyone in the world is too consumed with their own dirty little secret to judge us.

Yes, your dirty little secret might be painful and shame filled. And it deserves to be grieved, honored and moved past.  We all have dirty little secrets.

So the next time you hear yourself say, “I can’t do that because I have this dirty little secret”.



Ask yourself:

Is my secret REALLY that dirty?

Did I learn something in the process?

Do I have unfinished stuff from this secret (Do I need to grieve, apologize, forgive myself for someone else?)

Am I a better person because of that secret?

Could someone learn from me if I shared it with the world?

What is this secret holding me back from?

How would my life be different if I worked on letting it go?


Just announced October’s Live Happier Wine Night. Please join us October 30th from 7pm-9pm at Wine Bistro in Worthington. Cost: $25 includes 2 glasses of wine, hors d’oeuvres and a presentation by me on Tips on Living Happier through Conflict.  How to speak up for yourself, set boundaries and manage conflict.  Advanced registration is required.  To register or for more information go to: https://live-happier/live-happier-wine-night  Hope to see you there!!

2 Responses to Is Your Past Holding You Back? What is YOUR Dirty Little Secret….

  1. This post made me think of a cute story involving dirty little secrets:

    So, when my boyfriend and I went on our first date, I was sooo nervous to tell him I was divorced. I mean, who gets married and divorced before age 30? (Such was my thinking.)

    On the date, I told a story that outed me as divorced (I used the phrase “ex-mother in law” or something like that). HE was so nervous about the fact that HE had been married and divorced in his 20s that he didn’t even pick up on it, and it was a date later or something before we realized we were both divorced!

  2. Nancy Jane Smith says:

    Love it! That is a perfect illustration of my blog 🙂 Imagine if either one of you had let that hold you back from the date–you wouldn’t be in a relationship with him today! Thanks for sharing!