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I Believe at 41


Today is my birthday the big 4-1.  I realize the big 4-1 isn’t really BIG but it is still a birthday and worthy of a celebration 🙂 Last year when I turned the big 4-0 as much as I wanted to I just couldn’t wrap my head around what being 40 meant and all the hype of being 40 etc. This year, I feel slightly more settled in my 40s. More comfortable with saying I am middle age(ok, just slightly more comfortable). I am coming to peace with the fact that the rose colored glasses and unbridled hope of my 20s is gone.  Replaced with a new found confidence, comfortableness and I dare say wisdom that I longed for in my 20s.  Here are a few things I have come to believe at 41.

I believe:

Life can change in an instant.  One second you can be enjoying your first day of a wonderful romantic vacation and the next you are on the ground in major pain due to a Segway running over your ankle.  That one incident took 4+ months to recover from and taught me many many important lessons–the biggest is to expect the unexpected.

With quality people in your life you can survive anything. I am blessed with awesome supportive friends, a family that will be there for me in a heart beat and a husband who would put his life on hold for 3 months to drive me wherever I needed to go.  Not a day goes by that I don’t Thank God for these people and know that with them in my world I can do anything.  I wasted too much time on crappy relationships, drama filled friendships and railing against the love of my family. Thank God I came to my senses well before 41 🙂

Once we start listening to our innate wisdom life gets a lot easier.  Once we can tune out all ‘the shoulds’ and ‘the rule that we must keep up with the Jones’ we can start to relax into our uniquely amazing qualities.  I do believe this is one of the perks of aging. Once I stopped trying to BE something else and finally started accepting myself “failures and all”, life just became a lot less challenging.

Events should be celebrated. Whether a birthday or completing everything on your list for the day.  We need to get better about taking time to honor our lives the good and the bad.

If we all lived by the sentiment that “we are doing the best we can with what we have” we would let go of the petty stuff and recognize we all have a journey. Sometimes you aren’t as far along in your journey as you want you to be and that is ok!!

A real challenge of growing older is watching your parents age.  Knowing that you are the next generation to step up is downright freaky. While watching your parent(s) slowly become less of themselves is gut wrenching.

The number of years I have spent on the planet is just a number.  Some days I feel 10 years older than my age and some days I look in the mirror and think who is this middle aged woman looking back at me.

In honor of my birthday, I would love to hear from you:  What do you believe to be true?  How do you celebrate birthdays?

2 Responses to I Believe at 41

  1. YAY!! It’s your birthday! Wish I could attach a singing telegram 🙂 (I’m sure you don’t wish that).

    Here’s what I believe, at 42 blessed years old:

    Love wins. Every time. It just does.

    Holding hands makes everything feel better. Even when you thought you were mad at them. Even when they never clean their room and leave the nail polish remover open on the new, shiny hardwood floor at the risk of getting tipped any minute.

    Sometimes you just feel sad. It doesn’t have to mean anything big. Just let it be. It will pass. (Please remind me of this next time I’m sad and want to make a big, childhood-issues deal of it.)

    Being willing to have the difficult conversations with people you love – including the conversations where you are not on your best behavior as part of it – is essential to lifelong friendship and connection. In fact, it is sticking with the love through those really hard conversations that makes the friendship way, way better than it ever could have been the “safer” way.

    Love you, dear friend.

    Happy, beautiful new year to you. I’m so happy you were born. xoxo

  2. Nancy Jane Smith says:

    Thanks Michelle for such a wonderful comment!! I am having a wonderful first day of 41 🙂 I LOVE your list–especially the holding hands one–I do that sometimes with my nearest and dearest, I just lean in and hold his hand and we can just breathe together and relax. Amen to feeling sad–and that it is so hard to do!! I definitely relate to that one as well.