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The Holidays are upon us!! It is a bit of an understatement to say the holidays are complex. This the time of year certainly challenges us to hold both the joy and grief, the expectations and the realities, the frustrations, and the love. Sessions with my clients are filled with conversations about handling the holidays, dealing with difficult relatives, and holding the grief and the joy of the holidays.
The holidays are a time of year ripe with expectations…we HAVE to do it right. Whether that right means having a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving or not getting sucked into a political debate with your brother-in-law. EVERYONE has an expectation of how the holiday should go. When we are tied to expectations as a way to attain perfection…we will inevitably end up disappointed.
So I wanted to write today’s blog on the one piece of advice I would give for the holidays: Be Present. We spend so much time living in expectations and ‘doing it right’ that we miss the chance to be in our bodies, in the moment, fully present.
When we are present to ourselves and our needs we can
- take a break when needed.
- honor ALL of our feelings of joy, resentment, sadness, and happiness.
- notice when we didn’t speak up, and we wish we had.
- see the futility of perfection when we are celebrating with such gloriously imperfect people
- celebrate when we spoke a need or set a boundary and held it.
- see that everything isn’t black and white. We can find the gray. Yes, your brother-in-law might drive you crazy, AND he also can make you crack up laughing.
- allow for grace…that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have…even when it takes all we have to give them that grace 🙂
Presence allows us to I am talking about being present to our thoughts, feelings, and needs. To the messy middle of spending time with family and friends.
As you go through this holiday season, remind yourself: Presence over Perfection.
Speaking of the holidays, tomorrow we kick off EMBRACE: the Live Happier through the Holidays daily emails. It is a free gift from me to you. Each week of the holiday season will have a different theme to help you bring more intention, grace, and happiness to your holiday season. Simply sign up here