Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
Here’s a question: How much time do you spend helping other people Live Happier? Really pause and ask yourself that question. How much time do you spend helping other people Live Happier? From running errands, attending events, listening, making small talk, making meals, doing misc tasks etc.
Now ask yourself: How much time do you spend helping yourself live happier?
And one more question…How much of the time that you spend helping other people live happier takes away from you living happier?
Helping others and being there for them is a great way to live happier. I receive a lot of joy from helping my nearest and dearest being there for my friends and going the extra mile for a stranger. But years ago I came to the realization that I was wasting my time trying to help EVERYONE live happier and it was taking away from my own happiness.
I am talking about:
- Draining Donna
- Negative Nannette
- Can you do me a quick favor Cathy
- Have you heard my latest drama Debbie
- Energy Zapper Elizabeth
The people in our lives who we try to make happier. We try to appease, listen to, provide empathy for and end up with a feeling drained.
As a friend of mine said recently, “You spend all your time helping other people live happier and finally you realize the only way I am going to live happier is to stop hanging around certain people.”
It is so true! To truly Live Happier we need to really get honest about where we are spending out time and with whom. Are these people helping us live happier or are they ultimately depleting our energy to the point of no return? For many of us, we are ‘attracted’ to these people. We want to HELP them. We want them to ‘see the light’ and be happier about their lives. At some point, we realize that in our goal to make ourselves feel better by making them happier we aren’t doing either. They are stuck in a negative patter and we are stuck in a pattern of trying to save them. We have to realize it is ok to let go. We can’t fix, save, or help everyone. Especially not to the detriment of ourselves.
Every now and then it is helpful to do a life inventory and ask yourself these three questions:
- How much time do I spend helping other people Live Happier?
- How much time do I spend helping myself Live Happier?
- How much of the time that I spend helping other people Live Happier takes away from me Live Happier?
I would love to hear from you in the comments: How would you answer the questions?
Tomorrow we start the Live Happier Daily Challenge. I hope you will join us!! The rules are easy:
Each day share one thing that has helped you live happier that day. Go to the Nancy Jane Smith Live Happier Facebook page www.facebook.com/nancyjanesmith and share your Living Happier Moment.**