Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
Last week, I did a post on the Suffering of Fear. Then over the weekend, BigLittleWolf wrote a post about fear that really struck me, check it out here. What struck me about her post was the slow progression of fear. I see it in my clients, they come to me after having a moment of ‘clarity’. For some it is a big moment, a death of someone close, a job loss of a job they really didn’t like, hitting a birthday which for them is a major milestone. For others, it might be something small, something they read (like my blog!), a conversation with a friend or just a remembering back to a past time when they had more hopes and dreams. For most of my clients, there is a feeling of a proverbial line in the sand. A ‘this is it, I am done putting my life on hold’. They have realized for whatever reason that they have been allowing fear to infiltrate too much of their lives and now they want to make some changes.
However, it is rare, that they articulate the word fear. Maybe because they don’t recognize it as such, but also because we just don’t like to admit it is out there. Fear is always lurking there, keeping us stuck, keeping us safe and justifiably status quo. We might blame it on finances, children, life choices or even their spouse. But rarely do we realize fear is what is holding them back. Which is why I was struck by BigLittleWolf’s wonderfully eloquent description of how fear takes a hold of our lives and convinces us that we are justified in expecting second best, in sacrificing our dreams for our families or the greater good.
Because bottom line we do all have responsibilities, we can’t all run out and do what we dreamed of doing in our teens or 20s. We have bills, mortgages, children and spouses. So what are we suppose to do with those dreams of our childhood/early adulthood. Just let them die?? I can’t count the number of times I have made a clients face light up simply by asking them ‘What did you dream of doing as a teenager?’. Almost always, they get a mischievous grin on their face and a far away look and they start describing in crystal clear detail their dream as a child.
I don’t believe those dreams die. They might get buried, beaten-up or berated. But they don’t disappear. They come knocking in the quiet moments after the kids go to bed, at 3am when you can’t sleep or on your drive home from another soul draining day at the office. They are there 10 seconds, 20 seconds or even 60 seconds and then fear steps in and like a blanket over a fire, squelches the thought and feeds you all the justifications for letting those dreams go once and for all.
I am here to tell you the gift you can give yourself is to keep fighting for those dreams, keep believing, thinking and scheming on keeping them a reality. As we begin to being our dreams into the light , we can decrease the power of the unconscious blanket of fear. I know without a doubt the more we can mix our dreams into our real, practical day to day lives–the happier we will be.
Wanting to fight for your dreams but not quite sure how? I can help. Click here to schedule your free 20 minute Get to Know you Session where we can talk on the phone and start facing your fears and allowing you to live happier!! Not in Columbus–no worries I also work via phone and Skype!!