Dealing With Anxiety and Self Sabotage

An overwhelming amount of anxiety on one person can cause a number of self destructive behaviors, one of those being self sabotage. Maybe you’ve experienced this yourself but don’t really think of yourself as having anxiety.

If you seem like you have it together on the outside but there’s an undercurrent of self destructive anxiety and a history of self-sabotage, you may be showing signs of high functioning anxiety, which isn’t the same as generalized anxiety

In times of stress, maybe you start doubting yourself, taking on too much, procrastinating or letting your emotions get the best of you. These are common behaviors of someone who deals with high levels of anxiety and self sabotage. 

In order to prevent your high functioning anxiety from self sabotaging your work, relationships, or other important opportunities, you need to recognize where your anxiety is stemming from and make a plan to work through it. But this can be hard to do without some help, especially if you don’t think you’re actually an anxious person.

As an anxiety coach, I work with people that struggle with anxiety and self sabotage to help them combat their self destructive tendencies and create a game plan for future success. These tips are great starting points for anyone who wants to learn what causes self sabotaging behavior and how to deal with their own anxiety and self sabotage.

Anxiety and Self Doubt: The Root Cause of Self-Sabotage

Anxiety and self doubt go hand-in-hand and may explain the overwhelming feelings that you’re experiencing. Your anxious thoughts make you overthink and question your own abilities. 

Self sabotage starts when we start to doubt ourselves and our abilities. When this happens, it can be hard to get out of the cycle of self-destruction. Getting anxious about something which makes you doubt yourself and that turns into self sabotaging, which strengthens the anxious thoughts you have. 

There are two sides to self sabotage you need to understand in order to identify why you sabotage yourself. 

The first is negative self sabotage which consists of negative self talk. I call this the Monger. This is the easiest to identify because negative self talk is something we know we shouldn’t do but a part of us believes we need to beat ourselves up or we won’t accomplish anything. So something that appears to be serving us is actually hurting us. It might seem counter-intuitive but negative self-talk actually holds us back from doing the things we want or need to do to make progress. 

It can be harder to identify the self-indulgence that leads to self-sabotage. Positive self sabotage is when you let things slide, over indulge, or let yourself get away with something because “you deserve it.” That attitude is what I like to call the BFF. 

The BFF is like that close friend we all have who is always on our side and encourages us to “spoil ourselves.” The BFF comes out in response to the negative self-talk of the Monger; she serves as a mid-guided release to the pressure our Monger is putting on us. They have the right intentions, but sometimes we need to be held accountable for our self sabotaging tendencies so we can recognize them and make a plan to correct those behaviors. 

Both of these inner voices actually come from anxiety, which may surprise you. They’re both sides of the same coin and are extremes on either end of how we try to cope with anxiety. When we’re beating ourselves up, we’re feeding the internal voices anxiety creates. When we let things slide, we’re ignoring those voices but not really dealing with the cause.

Either way, not dealing with these internal voices can lead straight to self-sabotaging behaviors. Be aware of your own emotions when you find yourself self-doubting or shutting down. Anxiety could be playing a huge role. 

Why You May Be Experiencing Anxiety and Self Sabotage

Being aware of our emotions and why we’re feeling the way we are is an important step to identifying how anxiety fuels the self sabotage impulse. This comes with needing a certain level of emotional intelligence which helps us be more self aware to understand our thoughts and feelings.

Figuring out why you’re experiencing anxiety and self destructive behavior ties back to the two types of self sabotage, negative or positive. 

You may be dealing with negative self sabotage like negative self talk. High levels of anxiety have a big impact on what we do and how we talk to ourselves. If you struggle with symptoms of negative self sabotage you could be dealing with an underlying issue of anxiety.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, positive self sabotage deals with things like over indulgence or not holding yourself accountable. This behavior could be stemming from rebellion against the overbearing nature of your negative self talk. Attempting to fill a “hole” inside ourselves, in an unhealthy self gratifying way, can have severe consequences if we aren’t careful.

Get Help For Anxiety and Self Sabotage

If you’re tired of your anxiety getting the best of you, then let’s talk. As an anxiety coach, I work with clients to identify and work through anxiety and self sabotage. My course teaches you how to identify your self sabotage, both negative self talk and over indulgence, and how to balance the two. I also offer coaching services for anyone struggling with anxiety who’s ready to take the right steps to start managing anxiety more effectively. 

Schedule a free consultation to see how I can help you work through your anxiety so you can stop self sabotaging and get your life back.