You don't have to live stressed out and exhausted.
Sorry I have been out of touch. Friday afternoon I had surgery and have been spending my days recovering on the couch. Today I am finally feeling like myself. Lying on the couch gave me lots of time to think, mostly about what a terrible patient I am. The hardest part of the past 5 days wasn’t the pain or discomfort. It wasn’t the surgery or the recovery. The hardest part was asking for help. I pride myself on being super independent on being able to take care of myself. However, Friday evening coming home from the surgery center I needed someone, I needed my nearest and dearest to make me dinner, get me ready for bed and care for me. Even Sunday morning as I headed down my walk to take my dog Mocha for a potty break I KNEW I was to sore and tired to be satisfy Mocha’s walking needs. I knew I would need to call my brother and have him and my niece and ask for help. I just couldn’t swallow my pride and ask for help (not until I got half way down the block and truly admitted to myself what a bad idea it was and called my brother)
So I learned a couple of things over the past 5 days of recovery.
1. I am more stubborn then I thought–which is saying something because I always thought I was pretty stubborn!
2. It is ok to ask for help. People actually LIKE helping you once they get use to the fact you are asking.
3. You have to teach people how to help you. Meaning, I had to actually ASK for what I needed unfortunately that damn mind reading thing hasn’t kicked in yet with my family and friends. This was a tough lesson for me, because I am so independent people weren’t use to me asking for help. They didn’t know what I needed or how to help me. I had to
4. Most importantly I realized by swooping in to take care of everything, by attempting to not ‘need’ anyone and be uber independent I am missing out on the love and kindness that comes when people give to you. I am missing out on the feeling of safety and security as my family and friends called to check on me, stopped by with hugs and food or just held my hand as I cried for no reason. I was reminded that it is ok to need people, actually it makes life more enjoyable to know you have people you can count on and want to give to you when you let them.
I admit none of these were NEW lessons for me, they were all repeats of things I have shared here. But I wanted to re-share them because I am sure I am not alone in my ‘I am woman, hear me roar stance’. And to be honest, I really like that part of me. I also like the feeling of knowing I have a support team out there ready to rally when I need them, all I have to do is ask. This weekend I lived happier because of them.