Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
Happy New Year!! Welcome to 2016! I am sure, like me, you have been inundated with messages of change:
“NEW YEAR NEW YOU! Lose weight, be better, look fabulous, in 2016, you too can find the perfect job, perfect love, perfect life. Risk more, be more, do more, this is your year!!”
Well…I have a cautionary tale for you. A tale of a woman who teaches about self-compassion, and authentic, intentional living. A tale of a woman who bought into the New Year’s hype…was beaten down and depressed and then found her way back. (Yep, this story is about me…so here it goes.
This year as we geared up for the New Year I was reading the inspirational memes on Facebook and blogs and was just feeling ‘meh’ about the whole thing. I was reading about all the big things people were planning to do…moving to exotic locations, quitting toxic jobs, losing weight, getting in shape, etc. As I kept reading, my inner bully/monger kept getting louder and louder. All of these promises of a new life, a perfect life, a better life made me feel less than and like I was missing out. Over the past week, I have been stuck in a cycle of berating myself, feeling not good enough and a HUGE case of comparisonitis.
To the point that a few days ago, I said to my nearest and dearest, “Maybe we should shake things up this year…do something crazy…sell our house…move to Hawaii..I don’t know just do SOMETHING BIG.”
He looked at me blankly and said, “What about our families? What about our friends? What about your business? I like it here, I like our life, we do big things in little ways all the time.”
And then it hit me, I had yet again got sucked into the “your life will be better when syndrome“. I had been drawn into comparing myself to all the people who were making BIG change and had twisted it into a ‘you are not good enough’ mantra.
Last night, after a wonderful evening of Chinese food and games with our neighbors I laid in bed and thought about my values. I thought about what I value most in my life:
And I thought about how my life is a reflection of those values. My nearest and dearest was right, I like our life…no I love our life. Yes, I wish we had more adventures. Yes, I wish we had fewer restrictions on our time. Yes, I wish this living intentionally, having self-compassion and empathy and showing up for life was a little easier. But overall, I love the messy imperfection that is my life. I love that I have a life based on my values, and when things get messy and confusing, I can come back to those 5 things and remind myself, yes, right now this is what I want for my life.
I tell this cautionary tale to show that our mongers and bullies are going to snag us from time to time. It isn’t about not getting snagged…it is about how quickly can you regroup. Sometimes regrouping takes me days. Sometimes hours and sometimes minutes. The key is having the necessary tools to regroup, to and not get stuck in the “I am not good enough mantra”
As we move into the time of resolutions…the goal isn’t a big change. The goal is small, compassionate, loving intentional changes.
Because I believe so much in the power of Knowing Your Values, I want to give you my course on Living Happier 101: Knowing your Values for free!!
Simply, click the link to download it: Live Happier 101.
Wishing you a peaceful and quickly regrouping 2016!
Want some help in making small changes in your new year…schedule a free 30-minute phone session and we will make it happen!!