Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
Last week I did a video post on the dangers of the 3 step plans to find happiness and that Living Happier is MUCH more detailed then merely following a 3 step plan. Since then, I have been thinking about what my 3 step plan would be if I could wave a magic wand and make it so–the 3 steps, the 3 magic things you need to do and BAMMO–SHAZAM we would all be happy.
So for kicks and giggles here we go. My 3 step plan.
1. Be kind. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to other people.
2. Be Curious. Question, yourself, question those around you, question your stories question your perceptions and be curious about others same stores and perceptions.
3. Be Vulnerable. Share when you are lost, open up when you are feeling scared–as Dr. Brene Brown a leading researcher on shame says–the only way to end shame is to share it .
Ok now for the real kicks and giggles lets go back and REALLY look at what these mean.
1. Be kind. When you are tired, cranky, come home at the end of the day and want to curl in a ball and not deal with one more thing,be kind to your family. When someone cuts in front of you in line, when traffic gets backed up and you are frustrated, be kind. When you are frustrated with yourself, discouraged, fearful, feeling ‘less then’ be kind. In your day to day life, when you are tired, cranky, depressed, just DONE be kind.
2. Be Curious. In the middle of an argument with significant other, stop and see it from their perspective. When your boss is driving you CRAZY have some curiosity about what is going on in their life right now. When you have engaged in the same self defeating pattern for the 100th time, be curious as to why, look within and see what is behind that behavior.
3. Be Vulnerable. When you are feeling your most scared, conflicted and raw, call a close, trusted friend and tell them your fears. When you are in the midst of an argument, guns blazing, feeling all types of fired up, remind yourself that true intimacy and true courage comes from vulnerability. Resolving a conflict is done when you can share your vulnerabilities about what is REALLY going on.
My point being, it is easy to talk in generalities, easy to spout what needs to be done, how to live happier. It is also easy to read it and think, yep, she is on to something I should do that. The challenge comes in DOING it, on a daily basis. My issue isn’t so much in giving 3 or even 10 ways to be happier–my issues comes in saying do these EASY steps and you will achieve happiness, you will be done. It isn’t 3 easy steps–it is a million easy steps taken each day, each minute. It is being intentional about your life, engaging in the journey, forgiving yourself and others when it doesn’t go perfectly, and enjoying the ride!!
What would you add? What are the 3 easy steps to Living Happier for you?