Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
|Thanks Angusf’s for the perfect photo!|
This weekend during coffee o’clock, my nearest and dearest turned to me and said, “you know I was thinking last night, real change has to start with more than just turning down the corners of a magazine”
I looked at him inquisitively and he went on to say, “you know how people mark catalogs with stuff they want by turning down the corners of the page…well real change requires more than just having an interest in the subject.”
The insight reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine last week. I was telling her about a book that I had just found which I thought might be helpful to her—I asked if she had heard of it and she replied, “yep, actually I bet it is sitting on the book shelf over there” We both laughed, knowingly. One of our many inside jokes is the number of books and resources we have purchased and never read. This use to be a HUGE problem for myself–I could have purchased stock in Amazon. Anytime I had an inkling to learn something new or start a new adventure I would go out and buy a book (ok, maybe 2-3 books) and then they would come and I MIGHT crack them open and skim them or I might just put them on the book shelf telling myself I would read them ‘at a later time’, but never actually getting around to it.
Finally, a few years ago I had a little ‘come to Jesus’ moment as I call it and realized not only was I wasting a lot of money but there was a deeper problem going on. I was taking the safe road, making the easy move…looking for the resource, doing the research but not really making any real changes. I was kidding myself that I was going to learn photography, color mandalas, or train my dog…the list can go on and on.
So often we buy a book or take a class thinking we will be changed in just in the purchase alone. But change is greater then a purchase, greater than even reading the book. Change is consistent process of action. Sometimes that action, moves us forward, sometimes it moves us backward, sometimes it is learning how to just be. But it is an action. Change requires pushing our comfort zone paying attention to when we get uncomfortable. Change requires awareness of how we feel when we pick up a book or walk into a class to learn something new. Without this awareness we unknowingly put up roadblocks and passively prevent change. So maybe we need to pick up the book and do a quick skim, maybe we need to just read chapters 1-5 and let it percolate, maybe we need to just dive in and embrace the fear and learn something new.
The point is it is time to stop dog-earing our way through life!!! All those years I have been just ‘dog-earing’ the page of the things I want to change and learn. What ideas have you been just dog-earing in your own life?
*** Have to give a special shout out to my nearest and dearest for the blog inspiration–don’t know what I would do without you!