Want to stop losing your cool with those you love?
Happy New Year!! 2015—hard to believe. But here we are. New Year. Blank Slate. Full of possibilities. The Pinterest quotes are exploding with “Make it the best year yet!” and “Be the best YOU possible” etc. For those of us with perfectionistic tendencies resolutions can be a sticky wicket. On one hand we LOVE the idea of getting better, improving, setting goals etc. On the other hand, we HATE the idea of failure and broken resolutions. Personally, I am not really a fan of resolutions in the traditional sense. I don’t believe huge sweeping changes are possible. But I do believe taking stock of ourselves and our lives and noticing where we can improve, is important and the new year serves as a great way to do that.
So this year I am offering my 4 tips for doing resolutions differently.
Be Honest with your Big Why. I mean get really really honest with yourself. Why do you want to make this particular change? What is underneath it all? Let’s take losing weight because it seems to be the most common. Why do you want to lose weight? What will you gain by losing weight? What will you lose by losing weight? The reason you want to get honest with yourself and find out what is underlying the goal because inevitably you will want to give up on the change. You will falter. You will slip. You will want to give up and when you do…you will need to be able tap into the big why. Your Big Why is personal to you and serves as the crux of your motivation. It is the reason you will get back up and keep going…even if you fail.
Embrace the Journey. Whether you want to lose weight, communicate better, practice mindfulness or get more sleep, remember all change is incremental..tiny baby steps. Too often as we sit on the cusp of a new year and we envision ourselves 20 lbs slimmer, running a 10k or standing up for ourselves at a staff meeting…we forget the journey it takes to get there. The baby steps of choosing an apple over a brownie, running even though it is cold and rainy or practicing setting boundaries with friends. We see the end goal…we don’t see the journey.
Celebrate. Celebrate that you chose an apple rather than a brownie because you REALLY wanted the apple. Celebrate that you ran 2 miles and the last .25 mile it felt good. Celebrate that you told a co-worker no. Celebrate the small changes and the little victories. Because it is a journey, we need to pay attention to our progress and celebrate along the way.
Self-Compassion Self-Compassion Self-Compassion. No real change can occur without self-compassion. Understanding that you WILL fail, you WILL falter, and you WILL want to quit (you might even quit). But when we practice self-compassion we can always try again. We can always forgive ourselves and get back on the horse so to speak. Self-Compassion leads to RESILIENCY, which leads to a successful Resolution.
Wishing you a Resilient 2015!